Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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