Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you will always have a special place in my vag
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
