everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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