i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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