Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
