What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
