i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
