I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
