dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
