I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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