Ambien. No doubt about it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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