Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
