East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
