I'm jealous of your bromance
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
