Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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