i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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