Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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