none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
