All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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