He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
