Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
