Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
