Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize