his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
