Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
