so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
