I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
