We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.