Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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