oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!