That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
