Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
