im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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