I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
