her vagine was all disorganized.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
