If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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