also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize