the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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