You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
