i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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