if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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