what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
