I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
