wanna go halves on a baby?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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