I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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