Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
