just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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