OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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