just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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