I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
