Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
