Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
