I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just found a bag of teeth...
ttyl tear gas
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
