we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
