Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
