It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
